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Jeff Bezos’s Bulging Forehead Vein

@PrimalAnger: Alexa, that’s not how you pronounce ‘overlord’!

The Line at Salt and Straw

@ForeverCold99: “Genius is patience.” —Isaac Newton

A Sentient Man Bun 

@TieOneOn81: God, another night at Unicorn? One more corn dog and PBR selfie and I’m veering this hipster straight into Pike/Pine traffic.

Bill Gates’s Reading List

@MSNightstand: ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ is a deeply inspiring examination of mankind’s struggle to accept our true selves.

Sasquatch (Not the Festival)

@YesMeReal: Me still undecided on whole man bun trend.

A Bot That Retweets Any Mention of Dick’s Burgers

@DickPicks RT @PrimalAnger: I could have had an aquarium, five shake weights, and a case of ketchup delivered to my house in the time it took to get this #$@% Deluxe with fries.

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