I really don't feel like writing about reality TV stars today, but #@$& it.
As a reality TV newbie, it’s interesting to see how the makers of Real World Seattle: Bad Blood shift their narrative focus from week to week. Even in an hour long time slot, there’s only so much bandwidth for the storylines. Last week, Tyara threatened she might kill Kim. This week? Their bad blood gets zero screen time (and they’re even seen dancing near one another at the club with no animosity). The tension between Robbie and Jenn, and the spat between Jordan and Orlana were also total non-entities this episode. (Though in fairness, there is nothing interesting about the Jordan/Orlana dynamic. The producers are not even trying to tell a story there.) As for Will and Anika, they got in a bit of a verbal tussle when she dragged him into the confessional room, but nothing came of it. That's a whole lot of nothing from more than half the cast.
Much of the episode focused on Theo and Kassius’s ongoing family feud. Theo continues to ignore Kassius, while Kassius continually tries to engage Theo. There isn’t much middle ground in those two approaches, leading to a constant tension build. For the record, it certainly appears that Theo is in the right. He expresses extreme passion when discussing the marijuana bust that got him kicked of his college football team, while Kassius seems way too casual about it. When the pair beefs, Theo has to call him grandma and mom to calm him down, and even they can’t effectively persuade him that the drama isn’t worth it. He legitimately thinks that he’d be a pro football player in the NFL if Kassius hadn’t screwed it all up for him. (This NFL pipe dream Theo has crafted in his head seems incredibly farfetched, as he was a middling recruit who had yet to log serious playing time at Eastern Illinois before his playing days ended.) If Theo was actually to blame, he’s constructed a next-level delusional narrative about the incident in his head, one which he believes to his core. It seems much more likely that Kassius simply doesn’t want to admit his mistake and offer a sincere apology.
Kassius seems bewildered by the whole situation for some unexplainable reason. It appears that despite years of resentment, he thought they’d be able to quickly mend their wounds in front of reality TV cameras. It’s family drama intensified by the fact that… oh yeah, forgot to mention this… Kassius has a 2-year old son who he financially supports, (Will also has a 10-month-old child.) Eventually Kassius has tearful emotional breakdown where he proclaims, “I’m just questioning if I made the right choice, me being here, for me and my son.”
//RAISES HAND VIGOROUSLY FROM THE BACK OF THE CLASSROOM
Ooooo… I know this one! I know this one! Call on me! Call on me! *Ahem* Of course being away for months shooting the Real World when you have an infant child is *not* the right decision! Your stupidity and lack of parental instincts is deafening.
Peter and Anna’s blossoming romance served as the secondary storyline for the episode. They legitimately seem like a nice cute couple, and Peter acts significantly less bro-y than he looks. While the pair seems to be on the same page, the dramatic forces around them swirl to make things unnecessarily turbulent. When the Mike once again morphs into Instigon5000 (the instigating machine) by condescendingly mentioning Peter and Ann hooking up, Katrina almost comes to blows with him in an attempt to defend her sister’s honor. But Katrina also seems intent on sabotaging the couple. While the other housemates plan a girls’ night out and a guys’ night out, Peter, Anna, and Katrina decide to do their own thing and go to the Unicorn. (Side note: Unsurprisingly, considering the cast, girls’ night out seemed like a blast, while guys’ night out was a drama-filled drag. To quote the ladies themselves, “Girls’ night rules, boys’ night drools.” Such truthful, elegant poetry.) Once at the bar, Katrina gives Peter an icy treatment, relegating him to playing third wheel for the evening. When she later sits down with him to talk about treating Anna right, she actually ends the seemingly tame conversation by calling him a “pussy” (she plays off as a joke, followed by a jump cut to an interview segment where she says that she actually meant it).
The situation speaks to the greater rift between the two sisters. Katrina wants to function both as the protector and the saboteur; keeping Anna safe, but also inserting herself into situations when someone is getting too close to Anna. She always must be the closest one. Anna tells Peter that it’s a jealous cycle they’ve been dealing with their whole life. Bad blood runs thicker than water.
But enough with the drama, let’s find outlet for our emotions. For many, the recent fad of adult coloring books allows for a calm and creative meditative outlet. This hold true for the Real World cast. When Bad Bloods Will, Jenn, and Orlana all decide they’re not going out for the night with the others, they settle onto the couches and begin quietly taking solace in coloring books. This does not sit well with the party-all-the-time vibe of the show, and a few of the Originals get upset and begin mocking them out of earshot. “They’re coloring, bro,” Katrina says with disdain in her voice. In the words of Mike, “Imagine if there was a TV show based around that right there.”
That sounds like an excellent idea, Mike.
Real World Seattle: Color Me Bad Blood
(AKA The Color Wheel World)
A group of seven strangers is picked to live together in a house filled with coloring books, magic markers, glitter, glue sticks, and loads other arts and crafts supplies. It’s like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory for the artistically inclined kids-at-heart. During the days, they take classes at Cornish. Rather than go out and hit up clubs, the cast members spend most nights on the couches of their abode working on various projects and sharing their feelings over a few casual drinks. They get to know each other on deeper levels. Sparks being to fly when the men and women trade handmade cards expressing their romantic desires. (A little grinding is shown, because ratings.)
However, there’s a twist. Without warning seven more cast members show up to live in the house. They all used to be pals or partners with the original seven, but they all drifted apart in recent years (mostly because of distance). It seems like this would be a great chance to reconnect and bond, and they do so during group trips to Seattle Art Museum, the Frye, and various gallery art walks. But just when everything seems to be going great, the show's producers announce there will be a season finale art show with a large cash prize for the best creations. Oh, and the seven new cast members get an even better stash of art supplies to use. They’re not forbidden from sharing them with the original housemates, but will the sacrifice their competitive artistic advantage in the name of friendship? Tune in to find out!
Yeah... that show might be a little dull. But it would be a welcomed comfort blanket compared to the actual Real World Seattle.
Episode Space Needle Count: 12
Running Space Needle Count: 64
The Real World Seattle: Bad Blood airs Wednesday nights at 10pm on MTV.