You think that I'm teasin', but I ain't got no reason....
Except that, okay, we are making this all up, and only just dreaming that Queen B and her main man Jay-Z have a few extra hours before their July 30th concert date at Safeco Field to take a Seattle shopping field-trip with us. But what a magical trip it would be:
For the Queen
No offense, Seattleites, but we are a little light on the sexy around here. (I've had a hell of a time tracking down an assless leather jumpsuit to wear to the concert to match Beyoncé's.) Perhaps this is our chance to hit up Metro Clothing Co, but I think the red-carpet version of her highness might be more comfortable in Seattle at, say, downtown Nordstorm's Chanel shop-in-shop and the new enormous Bellevue Gucci store. And don't worry, Bey, if you run out of your favorite Natura Bissé moisturizer, Frency's Day Spa has you covered.
(Just to be clear everyone: That moisturizer has crushed diamonds in it. Girlfriend spreads crushed diamonds on her face twice a day. Does it get more diva than that?!)
For the King
Seattle's closet version to Hova's New York–bred street style is easily found at Alive and Well. I mean, if it's good enough for Wu-Tang, Jay has to at least bat an eye at it. But since he's the strong silent type of the duo, he seems harder to please and his shopping inclinations more difficult to predict. Maybe he'll pull a Kanye and don a Utilikilt? And I feel like there might be some behind-the-counter gems at that long-standing Pike Place sneaker shop...you know, the one near Prince's favorite suit store.
For the Princess
This one is easy. Out of all of the city's great kid stores, Bootyland—based on the name alone, obviously—is where the littlest Carter ought to run amok with her pint-sized AmEx (which I am sure she has by now).
See the royal couple in real life at the end of this month. In case you missed the pre-sale, Ticketmaster still has some (expensive) seats available.