HEARTBREAKER: MYLUVCRUSH.COM

GRIEVANCE The Seattle-based dating site duped countless lonely hearts into believing someone in their area had a crush on them. The lovelorn Web surfers subscribed to the service in order to learn their secret admirer’s identity—only to discover that no such admirer existed.
OUTCOME Per a November 2008 order by the King County Superior Court, MyLuvCrush agreed not to misrepresent “that a real person has an existing romantic interest in the computer user.” Missing from the court order: Any kind of jurisprudence regarding the sad, sad state of love in the Info Age.


HEARTBREAKER: SILKIES

GRIEVANCE Panty hose wearers swooned when the company advertised a free hosiery sample. But after the complimentary stockings arrived, Silkies kept sending more pairs, along with the bill. The hosier ignored customers clamoring for the sweet nothings to stop—and reported no-pay patrons to its collections squad.
OUTCOME Silkies agreed to pay $455,000 as part of a consumer protection lawsuit, $29,000 of which went to erstwhile customers in Washington State.

HEARTBREAKER: THE SONICS

GRIEVANCE Season-ticket-holding adorers of the former Seattle basketball club got jilted after the new owners moved the team to Oklahoma City and refused to let them buy Oklahoma arena tickets at the same price and priority as before. Fans are suing their old flame for the right to sit where they please.
OUTCOME A jury trial is set to begin in United States District Court early next month (March 2), but the jury will be out much longer as to why any Seattleite with a modicum of pride would journey 2,000 miles to watch a subpar team play in the Sooner State.

 

HEARTBREAKER: STARBUCKS

GRIEVANCE Coffee imbibers sweet on the topless mermaid felt betrayed when the chain refused to honor a coupon it distributed via email for a free iced beverage. A month before the offer expired ’Bucks dropped its java lovers like a bad blind date, citing that the coupon was “redistributed beyond the original intent”: Essentially customers forwarded the email to everyone they knew.
OUTCOME A law firm filed a suit in the New York County Supreme Court to leach the coffee company of $114 million in damages—which we’re guessing patrons will pour right back into the store every morning as they crawl back into the arms of the deceitful lover.

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