Obama Picked the Huskies!

So we’ll forgive him for the Leno thing

March 20, 2009

Did anybody think it wasn’t a bad idea for President Obama to make an appearance on The Tonight Show last night? Really? Even before his motorcade rolled up to NBC’s Burbank studios, didn’t someone with the president’s ear think to say, “Let’s think this through, chief. Obviously Leno’s got a big audience, and that means plenty of exposure. But, let’s be honest … Most of the knuckleheads who watch him are culturally stunted mouth-breathers who don’t know the difference between stock swaps and securitized assets anyway, so you’re probably going to get roped into talking about Michelle’s arms or the freaking dog, and what good is that going to do for you? You think that’ll make you look like a man of the people? You’ll look like a man of the People That Time Forgot. Come on, let’s just skip this thing and go watch the NCAA tourney at a bar, huh?”

But nobody said that, so he went through with it, and then he insulted the Special Olympics. And then he had to apologize for it! Oh, Mr. President … see, this is what happens when you try to crack wise with lowest-common-denominator comedians: Not only do you say stupid things, but we also start to think you probably laughed your ass off through Paul Blart.

But don’t worry, big guy. We commie, homo-loving sons of guns in Seattle have been in the tank for you all along, so we’ll let this one slide. In fact, in a day, we’ll probably be laughing about it while we sip our macchiatos and leaf through the New Yorker. And besides, all we really care about right now is shaking off the Worst Sports Year Ever, so since you picked the Huskies to win their first-round game you could probably make a whole mess of retard jokes before we’ll really get mad.

Image via NBC

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