Image: Young Lee

Compared to fans in the rest of the major league, Mariners supporters are a polite bunch. Boston Red Sox fans, on the other hand, turn invectives toward opposing players into an art. Like most New Englanders, super fan Tim Robie’s Red Sox allegiance was not a choice. It was a birthright. Robie, pictured, hails from Concord, New Hampshire, and is now a second-year Seattleite. And he cheers on his beloved team when it plays at Safeco and trash-talks the M’s. The Red Sox come to town this month for a three-game series against the Mariners (September 3–5). To stick it to the opposing team, take these tips from the enemy within. 

Strike early. 
Before the game, stand above the bullpen and unleash on the starting pitcher as he warms up. “Gettin’ that arm nice and warm to throw them fruitcakes, huh?” When the guy throws a 12-pitch walk and gives up a homer in the first, you can say, I had a part in that.

Do your homework. 
An amateur heckler will shout something like, “How many outs, A-Rod?” But do a little research and you can really throw a player off his game. In 2006, for example, Alex Rodriguez allegedly patronized a high-priced New York prostitution outfit. So your line: “Hey, A-Rod! Why don’t you give your call girl a ring. At least you’ll get to first base with her!”


Pick your spot. 
At Fenway, you’ll find hecklers from behind the dugout all the way to the nosebleeds. It’s part of the culture there, and fans have a natural respect for the enthusiasm. At Safeco, hecklers can get the hook. So watch where you set up shop and stay on the move—and no f-bombs around little kids.