Meltdown Survival Handbook

Or: 20 ways to stop worrying and thrive in the recession

By Matthew Halverson, Jessica Voelker, and Laura Cassidy

14. Bathe a Dog

Emotionally speaking, there’s only so much time you can spend hunched over your keyboard as you frantically scroll through page after page of subpar job postings. It’s soul crushing, it’s antisocial, it’s claustrophobic, it’s…a lot like spending your every waking moment in a dog kennel, which is why donating some of your post–pink slip idle time at an animal shelter is a good way to relieve your tension and Spot’s at the same time. Amber Yoo, a spokesperson for the Seattle Humane Society in Bellevue, says volunteer enrollment has increased by a third since last winter, thanks in large part to the steady influx of unemployed professionals: “We hope that they find a job, but in the meantime it’s nice to have them help us, because we’re going through the recession as well.”

HOW TO GET STARTED: At the Humane Society, once you’ve attended an orientation class (information is at seattlehumane.org), you can clean, feed, and socialize the animals; creative types can take pictures and write online profiles for the pets that are ready to be adopted. And if you stick with it long enough, you can help train and walk the dogs. Better than staring at a computer all day, isn’t it?

15. That Business You’ve Always Wanted to Start? Start It.

After residential designer John Morefield lost a job for the second time last year, he made one for himself. With Architecture 5¢, he reels in future clients by doling out home-remodeling advice for a nickel from a booth at the Ballard Farmers Market. Here’s how he did it.

“I’ve had the idea of taking architecture to a farmers market since I graduated college, and I pitched it to every business I worked for. They just said, ‘I don’t see the logistics. I don’t see the profit margin.’ I didn’t see the logistics or the profit margin either, but I just rolled it out to see if it would work. On day one, I talked to eight people and made 40 cents. I didn’t have a job out of it, but I came home and said, ‘That’s eight leads that I didn’t have yesterday. This could work.’ Any professional—be it a doctor, lawyer, architect, builder, tattoo artist—has been asked at a party, ‘I’ve got this question…’ Well, I’m doing the same thing, but I’m just collecting nickels—and donating them to charity. I thought about Lucy’s booth [from Peanuts ] and how it was psychiatric advice for five cents. She took something complex and over people’s heads and broke it down to a nickel and a conversation.”

17. Tame Your Populist Rage

You have so many—so many!—people to blame for your daily economic-collapse-fueled panic attacks, but you have to resist the urge to dwell on your anger, grasshopper. So how do you tame the beast? Ask yourself what’s beneath the anger, says Redmond—based mental health counselor Tana Anderson. “Are you having doubts about your self-worth, your lovability, your likability?” she asks. “Anger’s really a secondary emotion.” Don’t stop after your first stab at self-reflection, though. Keep asking follow-ups—Am I actually sad about something? Are past demons rearing their heads?—until you can release the anger.

Once you’ve stopped wasting your time spewing vitriol about the bankers and predatory lenders who put us in this mess, you can start wrestling your anxiety to the ground—and yes, it will require more self-reflection. Write down the specific issues that are making you -anxious—your financial situation, your postlayoff plan—and draw up a roadmap for addressing each one. “It’s like preparing for any other crisis,” Anderson says. “You don’t exactly know what’s going to happen or when or if, but at least if you have a plan, you can cope with the anxiety of the unknown.”

18. Grow Greens, Save Green

You know how when you dine out, you pay $20 for a bottle that cost the restaurant less than $10? Well, says Amy Pennington, “Salad greens are the wine of farmers markets.” Pennington, who owns Go Go Green Garden, a Seattle-based garden service that also teaches home-growing hopefuls to plant plots, points out that while markets price most produce pretty reasonably, gourmet lettuces—which cost pennies to plant—go for anywhere between $3.99 and $6.99 a pound. To start saving on salad, grab a couple of long planter boxes (Pennington says you can grow four to six heads in a 2-foot-long, 4-inch-wide, and 6-inch-deep box) or set aside a small plot of land (a 4-foot-by-4-foot raised bed will hold 20 to 25 heads) and grow your own. For the full flavor range, choose seeds from each of these -varieties: a red salad leaf (Pennington likes merlot lettuce, a bitter green like arugula or watercress) and something buttery (the -garden guru prefers pronounce-it-if-you-can heirloom lettuce Forellenschluss). Plant and water often—soil should always be moist—and you’ll save big on salad well into the fall.

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Published: August 2009