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This is not what Prince William’s groom’s cake will look like.

Photo Courtesy: Great American Cookies

Stop what you’re doing.

CNN reports that Prince William has chosen a cookie cake as his groom’s cake. We repeat: Prince William of Wales has decreed that a chocolate "biscuit cake" will be served alongside the traditional wedding cake at his nuptials to commoner Kate Middleton on April 29.

Now, if you’re picturing one of those giant chocolate chip cookies from the mall that you used to gorge on during elementary-school birthday parties at the local roller-skating rink, stop it. William’s groom’s cake will not be made by some 17-year-old girl named Brandy at Great American Cookies. It will be made by Paul Courtney, pastry chef at McVitie’s Cake Company—McVitie’s Rich Tea biscuits are mixed into the batter—and he will be using a recipe given to him by Buckingham Palace.

"IT’S GOING TO BE LITERALLY COVERED IN CHOCOLATE DECORATION," reports Courtney, with whom the recipe was shared under the strictest secrecy. (If he tells, he will be locked in the Tower of London where he will be dressed in a straight jacket from the wardrobe of Helena Bonham Carter then strapped to a table while Victoria Beckham and Kelly Osborne tickle his bare feet with pheasant feathers as they discuss cleanse diets and recall favorite moments from Dancing with the Stars. )

Middleton, for her part, has chosen a fruit cake as the main wedding cake, in adherence with royal tradition. That’s right, fruit cake. With raisins and dates and other chewy mystery fruits. That biscuit cake is starting to sound pretty tasty, isn’t it?

Full story on CNN.