These guys better watch their backs.

The Oregonian: Usually the wickedest thing that happens in beer pong is you get soaked with beer. Blackout drunk, at worst. Not so for one twentysomething on New Year’s Day. Portlandia’s paper of record teases us with what are clearly tip-of-the-iceberg details about one session of everyone’s favorite college pastime gone so, so wrong: “The victim did not realize he'd been stabbed until friends noticed that he was bleeding and drove him to the hospital.” —James Ross Gardner

Epicurious: Could a star-gazing foodie be any more amped? Now, in time for your very most burning questions about you, your relationships, your food, your relationships with food—and did I mention you?—comes astrologer Rebecca Gordon’s Horoscopes for Food Lovers, debuting this month at Epicurious. Apparently incorporating sunchokes, turnips, and “particularly burdock with its purifying and healing properties” into my diet will help me, Libra that I am, consider my foundations more thoughtfully. (My…foundations?) Bonus: recipe for sunchoke soup with pumpkin seeds! —Kathryn Robinson

Boston Magazine: This examination of dining hype perfectly lays out all my underlying concerns and fears about the intersection of dining and social media—admittedly a realm I populate and perpetuate. In 2013 I resolve to Instagram more subtly nuanced salads. —Allecia Vermillion

New York: What's happening in New York inevitably happens here in Seattle. In his annual Best Restaurants review, Adam Platt offers a thorough account of the culinary trends sweeping his home city. For readers on the other coast, it's an excellent primer of what's to come. —Christopher Werner

Fao.org: The world's most elite society of gourmands, the U.N., has officially declared 2013 the International Year of Quinoa. Better luck next year, semolina. (And get this, there's even a Facebook fan page). —Katie Vincent

New York Times: I’m a little listicled out at this point, but Julia Moskin’s 2013 dining predictions has me hankering for a year of fermentation and artisanal soft-serve. And for the love of all that is holy, where can I find barrel-aged hot sauce in Seattle? —AV

The StrangerA poll of local industry folk on their biggest regrets of 2012 includes the earnest—Jim Drohman on the failure of Prop 37 in California; Matt Dillon on the late Christina Choi—the silly, and a lamentation from Linda Derschang to which all of us can relate: taking shots of Fireball. —CW