Photo via Canon's Facebook

Does the color pink make you angry? Do cupids cause you to hit stuff? Whether you object to the cloying fakeness of Valentine's Day, or you’re just lonely, here are four places offering alternatives to couples, chocolate, and champagne. 

Canon For the third year in a row, Canon will be a “sanctuary for singles,” passing out water guns to customers who want to shoot couples publicly displaying affection. $4 shots of Fernet Branca to enhance your bitter mood. See Twitter for more details.

Fadó The cheeky Valentine’s Day Singles Party starts at 8, with a find-the-person-whose-object-fits-in-your-box game. (Actual boxes and objects will be distributed.) DJ and dancing, prizes if you meet your match, and no cover. Late night happy hour starts at 9 with $3 bottles, $4 shorties, and $5 shots. Food specials start at 10. And there’s an earlier happy hour 4–7, too.

Elysian At all three Elysian brewpubs, 10 “bitter-ass Northwest IPAs” will be on tap for the My Bitter Valentine Weekend, in case that’s what suits your mood. Six-ounce tasting pours will be $3 all weekend. Happy hour is 4:30–6:30 Sunday through Thursday at the Capitol Hill location, 4–6 on weekdays at Elysian Fields, and 4:30–6:30 on weekdays at Tangletown, with $1 off pints and $5 wines. 

Interbay Golf Center Purge your feelings while whacking a large bucket of balls and drinking a pitcher of beer at the driving range. Both are only $17 for domestic drafts or $20 for micros during happy hour, which is 3–6 every day. Hey, it worked for Happy Gilmore.  

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