Sauced

A caped straggler of New Belgium’s Tour de Fat Bike Parade hurries to join the the other 200 plus bikers at the Gas Works Park festivities. It’s reassuring to see that even superheroes wear helmets.

“Francois,” part of the New Belgium carnie brigade, gets the crowd to chant “America is stupide” during his aptly named “American Stupide” show. Truth be told, his accent was more Triumph the Insult Comic Dog than Pepé Le Pew.

Entrance to the event was free and open to all ages, but the 21+ crowd had to purchase “tokens of our affection” before knocking back brewskies like Mothership Wit Wheat Beer and Ranger IPA…

…Although some opted out of the tokens for a more BYOB mentality.

Cassie Rosch and Derek Martin traveled from Fort Collins, CO, to support their local brewery. Unfortunately they suffered a popped tire and had to drive their bikes to the event, where they swapped flat tires for Fat Tire.

Dressed up in a toga that his mother made for him in the 3rd grade for the bike parade, Taylor Knowles came to the event for his love of bikes. Here’s to hoping he was riding sidesaddle.

New Belgium carnie Curt, of “The Curt Show”, demonstrates his juggling skills – now if those cups were filled with beer we’d be really impressed.

Ok. We’re impressed.

You didn’t need to be old enough to drink a beer to attend, as the Ten Commandments of Tour de Fat declares “May every generation come forth: This is a family friendly event. Costumes, bikes and a parade? We were thinking like kids when we created Tour de Fat.”

Comedian Jonathan Burns proved better at ingesting balloons than twisting them into dogs or dinosaurs – the crowd didn’t seem to mind.

Evan Schneider, Jordan Twiggs, aka urban cowboy extraordinaire, and Melissa Reeser were at Tour de Fat to teach event-goers “how to fall back in love with their homestead” with the help of their book Boneshaker, A Bicycling Almanac.

New Belgium and Sustainable Seattle collaborated to make the event environmentally responsible. Each cup was made from corn and was 100% biodegradable.

Sustainable Seattle volunteer Melinda Minch rode her bike to the festivities while carrying landfill bins, which were fortunately much smaller than the recycling bins.

Part-time carnie Victor Bejarano takes beer goggles to a whole new level.

All the carnies sang the praises of New Belgium. No wonder: After five years with the company, employees are treated to a brewery tour through Belgium by bike. Access to free-flowing beer is a nice perk too.

The coveted prize of the “Great Bike Story Contest” for a New Belgium Cruiser Bike. Are the wings an added feature?

Jennie Stabler, KC Byl, Nikki Baldvins and Carter Mast liked “making the squares uncomfortable” as they biked around Fremont in their costumes. Stabler, of Fort Collins, would like to see the Seattle celebration grow to the size of her hometown’s, where everyone wears a costume.

Andrew Bohn, or “Dr. Bohn of Carnie Fun,” used to sell grilled cheese sandwiches in the parking lot of Tour de Fat events before becoming an official New Belgium member. Here he keeps Seattleites in line as they pedal some bicycle contraptions.

Perhaps New Belgium’s idea of couple’s therapy?

One of the highlights of the day was the karaoke port-a-potty. Who knew that all port-a-potties needed to become a pleasant experience was…karaoke music?

The winner of the Slow Ride contest proudly holds his belted Space Needle prize. “How many paint chips did you eat to ride that slow?” asked the announcer.

Tracy Marsh shades herself with a self-made bike wheel parasol while listening to the bluegrass stylings of the Dovekins.

In line with New Belgium’s environmentally responsible credo, all their tour trucks run on bio-diesel. Pretty cool, though we’d be more impressed if they ran on beer.

The beer can only flow forth so long. Time to compost, bike home, and take a nap.