Culture Fiend

Ack! Lost Has an Epilogue

Good luck getting any work done now.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on Aug 06, 2010 at 11:00AM 0 Comments

Ben (Michael Emerson) has some…unfinished business in the Lost epilogue.

Even though the Lost season 6 DVD and series box set don’t come out until August 24, those savvy marketing people (or sneaky pirates) have leaked one hell of a tease: a 12-minute epilogue with Ben Linus reporting from the “Home Office” to Dharma’s warehouse station. “There’s a new man in charge.” Hugo! Video uploading has been disabled, but here’s the YouTube link.

Happy Friday.

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Redux: The Final Post

Spoiler: We take a look at the series finale.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on May 24, 2010 at 10:00AM 1 Comments

I went to bed furious with Lost. The nerve, I thought, to end the series with seven straight minutes of metaphor and over two hours of sentimental curtain calls. I mean, I’d been lost by Lost before, but this time, there was no chance of clarification. No final-final episode to explain why Hurley’s still on the island if Smokey’s gone. Or why it really mattered if Smokey ever got off the island in the first place. Because everyone would die? Seems like everyone was already dead. Then I shook a fist of anger at Jimmy Kimmel for not asking any of the castaways “What just happened?” and fell back in bed disappointed and confused.

But to use a metaphor myself (they’re handy sometimes), I had missed the forest for the trees. Here’s what really mattered, in my opinion:

The island existed—always existed—in real time. People died there. Evil smoke ruled there. It could travel through time. The island was a metaphysical miracle, and that’s all we needed to know. Suspend disbelief when Frank Lapidus emerges from the wrecked submarine with enough wits to repair a crashed airplane and fly Miles, Richard, Kate and Sawyer home. Or when a nuclear bomb detonates and the island—and everyone on it—remains intact, in a different decade. Or that the island’s energy is kept in by an ancient cork. It was all ultimately a means to an end—a setting for the castaways to learn to be better people. And those castaways were the reasons we watched in the first place, from the very first flashback to their “awakenings” in the Sideways world.

Ironically, the writers did work purgatory/limbo into the storyline after denying early on that the island was purgatory. And though it took me a while to wrap my head around the existential now-ness of Sideways Limbo Land (like, why was Penny in the church, but Helen not? Aren’t you supposed to be surrounded by all your loved ones?), I cried every single time the castaways reunited. Claire, Kate and Charlie. Sawyer and Juliet. Even Sayid and Shannon. Michael Emerson and Terry O’Quinn proved that they do deserve their own show together when Ben asks Locke to forgive him outside the church.

As my colleague Melissa put it: The final episode wasn’t technically satisfying, but it was emotionally fulfilling. When Jack lay down to die in the bamboo forest with Vincent at his side, and his eyes fluttered shut—bringing the show full circle—I felt closure.

Even if it took a good night’s sleep to realize that.

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Redux

Spoiler: We take a look what’s new and confusing in the series’ penultimate episode.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on May 19, 2010 at 11:00AM 0 Comments

Jacob’s campfire stories. Photo courtesy Mario Perez/ABC.

This was the episode I was waiting for. Forget all the disappointments from last week (though, admittedly, I will be making golden cave jokes for a long time). “What They Died For” actually told us what they died for—a novel concept on Lost, but one that I’m betting fans appreciated. And for all the subplots and mythology, minutiae and monsters, what really matters now are the castaways. As it should be. Speaking of…

Until last night, a strong argument could be made that Hurley, Jack, or Sawyer would be the Candidate (now with a capital C). Hurley was the moral compass of the group, the only one who could really talk to dead people, and a natural ‘holy’ successor to “the man with the God complex.” Sawyer had shown growth, going from greedy ex-con to guy who’ll jump off a plane for the greater good. And then there was Jack—the man of science-turned-man of faith. The natural-born leader and wannabe martyr. So… who got the job? Wait for it…

Mystery #1, aka Jacob’s campfire stories: Why did Jacob bring them to the island? I can’t believe we actually heard the truth from Jacob. I was convinced they were going to end the episode with a cliffhanger…or that Smokey would fly through and snuff out Jacob’s fire before we heard anything. After all, they smoked out Richard within minutes of the show starting. (Though I’m not convinced Richard’s dead. A man who never ages doesn’t die so easily, and if Smokey can’t kill Jacob, how could he kill Jacob 2.0?)

Jacob gathers Hurley, Jack, Sawyer, and Kate around the campfire and starts to tell them one of the scariest stories they’ve ever heard: the tale of total self-sacrifice. It goes a little like this, though I did read in between the lines a bit:

Jacob: You’re here because I made a mistake. [Translation: I shoved my brother down a hole and he turned into a smoke monster.] Since then he’s been trying to kill me. [Translation: He’s a pain in the ass.] He found a loophole and managed to do so, so I brought you here to do what I couldn’t. [Translation: Kill the SOB.] I picked you because you were all flawed, like me. You were all alone. You needed this place as much as I needed you. [Translation: Hold me.]

But why didn’t you need me, or Sun or Jin, or Sayid? Kate asks indignantly. Fair point. Why were they crossed off the candidate list? Because you’re a mom, Kate. Sun and Jin were parents. (And Sayid was …um, full of darkness.) “You didn’t need the island.” Well…that makes perfect sense. It was one of those “A-ha!” moments with such a simple explanation, it made you feel a little dumb. Dumb and satisfied.

Then Jacob asks them to make a choice (something he never got to do), and volunteer to protect the light on the island. There’s the proverbial drumroll, and … Jack steps forward. Yesssss. Predictable? Who cares.

Jack: This is why I’m here. This is what I’m supposed to do.
Jacob: Is that a question, Jack?
[Pause.] No.
Then it’s time.

Jacob makes Jack drink from the Stagnant Stream of Youth, since the Wine Bottle of Youth was busted, and now Jack is “just like Jacob.” It was one of the saddest moments I can remember on this show. Jack is resigning himself to a lifetime of duty and loneliness; as always, Hurley says it best: “I’m just glad it wasn’t me.”

But you know what this means? It’s open season on Hurley and Sawyer, who—by relinquishing their candidacy—are vulnerable to Smokey. Things are going to get ugly in the final episode. As an aside, I think Kate is going to try to stay with Jack. She knows she has to give Aaron back to Claire, even though Mama’s crazy, and without Aaron, she has nothing. And if she tries to stay, Sawyer will inevitably try to make her leave. That’s just how it works. What would this show be without a final stab at a love triangle? The series started with Kate sewing up Jack after the plane crash, continued last night with Jack sewing Kate up, and (I think) will end with Kate dying to stay with Jack—literally.

Mystery #2: Why is Charles Widmore back on the island? Essentially, as a chaperone for Desmond. They unceremoniously wrote Widmore off the show last night, reducing all his manipulation, conniving, and deviousness to puppies and kittens. Widmore only comes back to the island because Jacob told him to, and he brings Desmond as a “fail-safe, a measure of last resort” for protecting the island. I mean, I know Lost’s producers have said this show is ultimately about characters being able to stop patterns of bad behavior, but they certainly streamline the plot when a villain turns good.

Doesn’t look like Ben’s changing his ways anytime soon, though. He shoots Widmore dead, then promises the Locke-Ness Monster to kill on his behalf. I can’t quite tell if Ben’s playing him for a fool or not. Is he a lost cause? So distraught about sentencing his daughter Alex to an early death, he’ll fill Sayid’s role as LNM’s hired gun? Or did Ben satisfy his quest for vengeance by finishing off Widmore? He could easily double-cross LNM and blow up the plane with that backpack full of C-4…

Meanwhile, some of the best lines of the night came during the scenes with Ben and Miles. A depressed Ben is still a hilarious Ben, and I love whoever came up with “secreter room.”

Mystery #3: Why is Desmond running people over in Sideways LA? Or beating them up in parking lots? To make them see. Whether it takes a near-death experience (Locke, Sun), or reliving an Island Universe experience (Ben, Hurley, Charlie), Desmond is showing people the way they were, like a Dickensian Ghost of Islands Past. And perhaps that opens them up to live a better life in the Sideways world; it gives them a second chance to improve on poor decisions. Ben can be a better father figure to Alex here than he was on the island. Locke can “let go” of his bitterness. And maybe that’s why the Sideways world ultimately matters.

Final thoughts: Loved the great escape staged by Desmond. He’s still my favorite character on the show…though I worry that Locke will give him an offer he can’t refuse: Destroy the island, or Penny dies.

How can I wait until Sunday?

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost: The Final Predictions

With only one week to go before the island spotaneously combusts (it might!), we offer our most creative endings.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on May 18, 2010 at 10:00AM 2 Comments

See, things have always been stressful on Lost.

Everybody has an opinion about how Lost will end—including half my office. I never realized how many Lost fans I worked with until our chatter on Wednesdays started sounding like meetings of the A.V. Club. There were the hushed one-on-ones at 8:30am, when we would start our day ripping on golden caves and gratuitous miscasting (CJ from West Wing? Really?). Conversations ratcheted up over our second cup of coffee, and finally got a bit ridiculous around 5pm, when we would yell across the office about “evil escaping and ruling the Sideways world.”

After six seasons of smoke monsters and polar bears, time-traveling islands and dead men walking, this show can only get deliciously weirder. Before tonight’s penultimate episode (and the 2.5 hour finale on Sunday), we offer some of our more…creative possibilities for the show’s end:

“Ever since ‘Ab Aeterno’ revealed that the island was a cork designed to stop evil from spreading throughout the world, I’ve been convinced that the sideways-verse isn’t quite as great as it seems: If the island sank, then the evil escaped, right? My prediction: Our castaways will be forced to choose between their island and sideways-verse fates. The latter seems better (Jin and Sun are together, Hurley’s a happy bazillionaire, Locke’s marrying Helen, etc.), but it will be revealed after everyone but Jack opts to live out that life that it’s an alternate-reality hell where…Nikki and Paolo (or ’Nip’) are Hollywood’s most famous couple.” —Matt

“It’s tricky. For all I know Sawyer gets snuffed in tonight’s episode. But for now, when it comes to the last castaway standing, my money’s on the Mouth from the South. Why? No other character has shown more growth. Back in Season One—before the Others, before the Dharma Initiative, before Charles “bipolar Thurston Howell the Third” Widmore—Sawyer was the villain. Greedy, self-absorbed, and unrepentantly sarcastic, he horded medical supplies, splattered tree frogs for kicks, and swore his endgame was ‘every man for himself.’ The nickname-spewing ex-con’s only goal was killing the man who done him wrong as a kid (a goal that he achieved in Season Three). But season by season, we watched Sawyer soften—like the bunnies in his beloved Watership Down paperback—until he was sticking his neck out for fellow castaways and diving out of mainland-bound choppers for the greater good. What better coda for the show than to make Season One’s most hated the series hero? So come finale’s end, I think he’ll be the Candidate, the one protecting the island from smoke monsters and time share-resort developers. Again, this is assuming he doesn’t get killed in tonight’s episode. If he does, cribbing Sawyer’s own signature phrase, I say, ‘Son of a bitch.’” —James

“When Desmond turns the wheel in the well, it will magically repair the split between the ‘Island Universe’ and the ‘Alternate Universe.’ Anyone who is dead in either universe will reappear, alive and well, in the now singular neo-Island Universe, but they will be able to leave the island whenever they want. By this time Jack, Hurley, and Sawyer will have died in the Island Universe. Jack will lay down his life to save the remaining survivors; Sawyer will then lay down his life for Freckles, and Hurley will lay down his life for a ham sandwich. Desmond will perform a murder-suicide on Penny, child, and self in the Alternate Universe so they all survive. Those who are alive in both universes (Kate, Miles, Ben) will spontaneously combust. The Smokey-Man-In-Black will throw Widmore in the glowing cave, so that Widmore becomes the new Smoke Monster, unable to leave the island, ever. Locke will be alive in neo-Island Universe, and he and Boone will fall in love and share the job of protecting the island, happily ever after.” —Kelly

“Jack’s the candidate—I can smell ‘martyr’ a mile away. He’s made the ultimate transition from man of science to man of faith, and it only makes sense that he’s stuck guarding the island with the Smokey version of his Man-o’-Faith foil, Locke. But before that happens, everyone else is going to die (sob) and ‘come to life’ in the Sideways world, where they’ll all have ‘memories’ of the island and be friends and have BBQs in Hurley’s backyard. And Walt gets recruited out of high school to play for the New York Knicks.” —Laura

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Redux

Spoiler: We take a look what’s new and confusing in Episode 15 of the final season.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on May 12, 2010 at 02:00PM 1 Comments

Jacob lays his brother, the Man in Black, down after killing him. And we still don’t know MIB’s name.

Sorry this is so late today…a lot to cover.

I hate to say it, but I’m disappointed by last night’s episode, “Across the Sea.” Maybe my expectations were too high. Did I think they’d actually explain why there was a giant Egyptian goddess statue on the island, or who Jacob and the Man in Black really are? Or, dare I say it, offer up MIB’s name? I should know better. They won’t just drop answers left and right—it wouldn’t make for very compelling television. Instead, Lost is probably going to have an indie film ending: open-ended, up for interpretation, with a long, mournful fade-out of a poor schlub (probably Jack) sitting next to Locke on the beach, playing with stones. Ugh.

Here’s what we did learn:

Mystery #1: Who’s the little blond boy running around the island? Why, it’s 13-year-old Jacob! I’ll pat myself on the back for knowing that one, though I never expected him to have such a deceptively deep voice. The actor playing him must be, like, 26 years old. The all-history/mythology episode opens with a nice twist, though: Turns out Jacob had a twin brother. Yup, MIB. They’re brothers from the same mother, a lovely lady who’s unceremoniously clubbed to death by Allison Janney from West Wing. Since iMBD just calls Janney’s character “Woman,” so will I. Woman claims—in Latin—that everyone’s on the island “by accident,” be it shipwreck or divine placement, as far as I can tell. But then Woman drops the Latin and shifts to American English, which is right up there with Sun getting knocked out and waking up speaking Korean. Awkward. I understand Lost writers not wanting to craft an entire script in Latin, but what is that hint supposed to tell us? That the Woman is of Judeo-Christian origin? That this takes place when Latin was still alive? That could be any time from the dawn of ancient Rome to the 17th century! And so, the interpreting begins…

Mystery #2: Why does the Locke-ness Monster hate his mother? Young MIB, a mini Zac Efron who likes to run and play and hunt boar with his bro Jacob, sees a vision of his dead mother in the jungle. She tells him the truth about their birth and MIB immediately wants to seek out “his people”—the other survivors of the shipwreck. MIB is mad that Woman has been lying to him for 13 years, and understandably so. She’s also told him that he’s special; that people are bad (“They fight, destroy, corrupt”—sound familiar?); that he can never leave the island; that there’s nowhere to go beyond the island; and that he and his brother can’t hurt each other. All lies? Perhaps. He goes to live with the Original Others in their thatched-roof huts for 30 years, hell-bent on finding a way to leave. Woman doesn’t like that, and tries to kill MIB. Hence, he hates her and thinks she’s a crazed, murderous psychopath (as he tells Sawyer as the Locke-ness Monster earlier this season), and ends up killing her with his trusty dagger—much to the chagrin of sweet, loyal, somewhat dim Jacob. Woman comes between men (ha!), setting up a pretty pivotal scene by the golden cave. Wait, what golden cave?

Mystery #3: What are they protecting on the island? Woman shows her sons their reason for being: a cave that glows with golden light. “There’s a little bit of the same light in every man,” she says. “If it goes out here, it goes out everywhere.” So the answer to the most fundamental question on the show—what’s so special about the island?—is a glowing cave. Sigh. I mean, I guess I buy it, but only after I lend a couple theory to it: The light represents the apple in the Garden of Eden—i.e. life free of evil, of original sin. After all, the light is “life, death, rebirth, the source, the heart of the island.” And when Jacob shoves his brother into the cave, do they essentially take a bite of the apple, releasing Smokey evil? Cause it looks like Jacob killed his brother (yup, they can hurt each other), and all that’s left is a Smoke Monster who can take MIB’s body, and who’s infinitely more dangerous than the boy who just wanted to flee. You could also argue that Jacob is Cain, who killed his brother Abel, and lays him to rest next to his mother, Eve. (Nice touch: the season 1 tie-in, when Jack, Kate and Locke discover two bodies—“our own Adam and Eve,” Locke says—whom we now know to be Woman and MIB.)

But what if that’s not the answer? What if the Lost writers just made up their own creation myth, and the greatest explanation we’ll ever get is a bottom line? “Someone needs to protect the light, otherwise evil escapes.” Holy unsatisfying. At first, that someone is Jacob, a reluctant guardian who “had no choice” but to drank from the Wine Bottle of Youth and stay on the island. Then he passed along some responsibilities to Richard, who also drank from the bottle. Since MIB broke that bottle, does the new candidate/guardian have the potential to live forever? Will Richard bestow immortality on someone? Does any of this matter? Agggggh.

Final thoughts Weakest part of the episode was when MIB was talking about the really, really smart people who figured out a way to build a wheel to harness water and light and ultimately escape. Fancy engineering they’ve got there. Will Desmond turn the wheel in the next two episodes, and will that do anything to Smokey’s chances of escaping?

The one thing the cave allegory does do is help explain Widmore’s motivation a little…he must know about the cave, and the power of the light, and just be an Other who will fight, destroy, and corrupt to get anywhere near it.

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Mythology

Spoiler: Previews of tonight’s episode!

Posted by: Laura Dannen on May 11, 2010 at 12:00PM 0 Comments

Friends? Foes? Frenemies? Titus Welliver (left) as the Man in Black and Mark Pellegrino as Jacob.

Did anyone else watch the repeat of “Ab Aeterno” on April 27? If there was ever a Lost episode I wanted to see with those helpful green boxes, that was it. Sure, we may have already known that those four granite toes belonged to a statue of Taweret, the Egyptian goddess of protection, birth, and fertility, but it’s nice to see it in writing. I’m tired of Googling what I think I heard them say; there’s only so many hours I can spend doing that calling it “work.”

As a warm-up to tonight’s final mythology episode, “Across the Sea,” which Lost producers say will reveal the back story to Jacob and the Man in Black, here are a few reminders from “Ab Aeterno”:

—Richard came to the island on the Black Rock, which was captained by Magnus Hanso — great-grandfather of Alvar Hanso, a financial backer of the Dharma Initiative (according to Lostpedia).

—The Black Rock was sailing on March 22, 1845, from Portsmouth, England, to the Kingdom of Siam (Thailand) when it shipwrecked. Magnus Hanso’s first mate kept a journal—the same journal Charles Widmore bought at a Southfield’s auction in 1996, in the season 4 episode “The Constant.” Does this journal help explain Widdy’s motivation to be back on the island? Could the first mate have survived long enough to record island secrets that we still don’t know?

—The white stone, an “inside joke between Jacob and the Man in Black,” is a symbol that Jacob beat MIB in a particular situation…and, theoretically, a show of the battle between light and dark, good and evil, etc. Because by now, we know that Smokey/MIB is pretty damn evil.

—Smokey came to Richard as his wife, Isabella—which means that Smokey can take the form of anyone who’s dead, not just characters who died on the island. With that said, if you see Hurley talking to a dead person, and a living person shows up and can’t see who Hurley’s talking to, then he’s probably not chatting with Smokey.

And as a final treat: two sneak-peak trailers of tonight’s episode. I watched them (couldn’t resist): one features the little blond boy, and the other shows what I presume to be Jacob and the MIB’s mothers. They’re not particularly revealing—more a tease than anything else—but watch at your own risk. I can’t wait to find out why MIB has mommy issues…and at least we know that they can’t kill off any more of our favorite characters during a mythology dump.

I hope.

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Tags: Television, Television, Television, Television, Lost

Lost Redux

Spoiler: We take a look what’s new and confusing in Episode 14 of the final season.

Posted by: Matthew Halverson on May 05, 2010 at 11:30AM 2 Comments

Matthew Fox as Jack in Lost.

Programming note: Laura “I love Hurley” Dannen had another commitment last night, so once again I’m pinch hitting. I’m like Michael: No matter how badly you want me to stay dead, I just keep popping up!

Before we get this party started, let’s pour out a bottle of MacCutcheon in honor of those who left us last night in “The Candidate”: My heart goes out to the families of Widmore’s men who died defending his sub; they fought valiantly from their treetop perches. Oh, you thought I was going to eulogize Jin and Sun, Sayid, and Lapidus? I wish I could say I welled up when they drowned, exploded, and headbutted the sub door, respectively, but I didn’t. And I’ll tell you why: Their waterlogged swan songs, no doubt, served to warn us that none of our favorite characters is safe from here on out, but with the way those four have been lifelessly shuffling around the island since the season began, they may as well have died six weeks ago. And that’s a four-toed-statue-sized drag. Now, if Jack had ’sploded in the sub, that might have been something. But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Mystery #1: What’s Widmore’s motivation? Now that Smokey has definitively revealed his homicidal heart of darkness, there’s only one player left on Mystery Island whose intentions are unclear. Baldie McBadass nabbed all of the candidates, sans Jack, and led them back to his lair on Hydra Island. He claimed he was keeping them safe by taking them back to his compound, but if that was really the case, couldn’t he have, you know, taken them inside the freakin’ compound? Instead, he left them outside in those literal and figurative soul cages that we all remember so well from Season 3, and poor Sawyer didn’t even have time to snarf a fish biscuit before Smokey swooped in to steal them back. So what’s Widmore’s game? I’m not convinced that he’s purely evil, but his intentions aren’t purely altruistic, either; he clearly doesn’t want to let the cork out of the bottle, but my guess is that he’s only worried about what FLocke’s escape might mean for his off-island pursuits.

Mystery #2 What did Sideways Locke see of his island-world adventure? Back in alterna-L.A., Doc Shep saved John after his little…run-in with Desmond, but that wasn’t enough for Mr. Fix-it. While he was digging in the angel hair pasta of Locke’s dural sac, he noticed that the wheelchair-bound groom-to-be might be able to walk again. John was—that’s right—*a candidate* for an experimental spinal surgery. Jack beamed, fulfilled by yet another opportunity to save the day, until Locke said no. Turns out, he’s wracked with guilt after crashing the plane he was piloting and turning his dad—who’s apparently a nice guy, which raises the question, Who screwed with Sawyer’s family—into a veritable vegetable. But while he was recuping, he muttered a couple phrases from his island-life: “Push the button,” and “I wish you’d believed me.” What did he see during his brush with death? Does he know his body’s bound to be the flesh-and-blood vessel of an otherworldly apparition? And does he know that the man offering to patch him up is his spiritual antagonist in another life?

Mystery #3 So, uh, can Jack die after all? For my money, Jack’s wild-eyed, TNT-infused game of Russian roulette with Richard in the hull of the Black Rock was the highlight of this season. The mopey, mop-haired doctor had finally embraced his place in the island’s grand plan and convinced himself he couldn’t die. And he didn’t! So when Smokey slipped some C4 into Jack’s pack and set a trap aboard Widmore’s sub—seriously, who didn’t see that coming?—he kept his cool and told Sawyer to let the explosive’s timer run out. They were candidates; they were bomb-proof. But as Locke learned, faith can only take you so far in this world, and the C4 went off anyway—with Sayid sacrificing himself to save his fellow candidates. (The Iraqi assassin did redeem his weak Season 6 arc, though, by dropping a little science before he died: Desmond’s still alive, and Jack is going to be “it.”) So was Jack wrong all along? Can he kick the bucket? (Just had a thought: Jack said FLocke’s plan must be to trick the castaways into killing each other, so if Sawyer hadn’t tried to diffuse the bomb—in other words, had he not interfered—might it have died like the dynamite in the Black Rock?)

Final thoughts: Jack better bounce back from his post-explosion boo-hoo session on the beach because he still has work to do. (Although if he wants to let Kate bleed out there in the sand, I’m cool with that.) Smokey’s still out there, and with his attempt at sinking all of the remaining candidates foiled, you know he’ll be back with a new plan. But how’s he going to get the them to kill each other? My guess: He’ll convince them that the last man (or woman) standing gets a lifetime supply of Apollo candy bars.

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Redux

Spoiler: We take a look what’s new and confusing in Episode 13 of the final season.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on Apr 21, 2010 at 11:00AM 1 Comments

Matthew Fox as Jack, the “last recruit,” in Lost.

What. An. Episode. Tricky Lost writers lulled us into a sense of contentment with solo-character storylines—Richard, Desmond, Hurley—and then, smack! We get “The Last Recruit,” a whirlwind episode that starts to connect the dots between the Oceanic 815 on the island and in Sideways reality. I don’t even know where to start. How about with how many things I’d forgotten?

In Sideways LA, Sun’s been shot, Sayid’s on the lam, Kate’s in Sawyer’s custody, and Locke’s the victim of a Desmond drive-by. In fact, Locke and Sun are being wheeled to the same hospital (where Jack works) at the same time, which sets up a really nice moment of Lost cross-pollination. Sun, strapped to a gurney, turns and sees Locke next to her—and she screams in Korean, “No, no, it’s him!” Ooh. Is Sun seeing sideways because of this brush with death? Did she have flashes of Locke, the murderous, smoky body-snatcher? Or is she seeing an island future that we have yet to see, where things get much, much worse? Shudder.

Back on the island, Hurley’s just led the remaining Oceanic 815—Jack, Sun, and Frank Lapidus (who was supposed to be on the original flight, so we give him the benefit of the doubt for comic-relief purposes)—to the Locke-Ness Monster. LNM only has eyes for Jack, and he leads him off into the jungle for a tete-a-tete. Which brings us to the first big reveal…

Mystery #1: Why is Smokey running around as John Locke? Okay, we kinda already know why he picked Locke: As Locke, he would have access to Jacob. But when Smokey chats with Jack, he does a proverbial dance on Locke’s grave, calling him stupid, a pawn, a sucker who believed he had a divine purpose on the island. Plus, he came back dead. In other words, Locke was easy pickin’s. Jack has a lightbulb-over-the-head moment and asks Smokey is he’s ever run around as Jack’s dead dad, Christian. The answer? “Yes.” [Insert fist of victory—I got one thing right!] I’m still sticking by my assertion that Smokey came to Hurley as Michael in last week’s episode, since Michael disappeared when someone else showed up. BUT now I wonder if Smokey’s also taken the form of Jacob. Did Hurley ever talk to Jacob when someone else was around? I can’t remember…argh, so many details! And what of the little blond boy that multiple people have seen? Is it a young Jacob, risen up like the Phoenix? Or a weird kid who wandered over from neighboring Lord of the Flies island? To be determined.

Mystery #2: Have Sayid and Claire officially crossed over to the dark side? Sawyer seems to think so. He doesn’t want to invite them to his escape party: only Kate, Jack, Hurley, Sun (what about Jin?), and Lapidus will be smuggled off the island in Widmore’s submarine. … Poor Sawyer. Since Juliet made him a whole man, he’s way too trusting of other people. Does he think Widmore will actually let them leave in his submarine? And that they’ll escape a flying smoke monster? And that Claire will let them go quietly? Answer: Not a chance in hell. A quick rundown on the latest island craziness:

Widmore wants Desmond back. He sends his lady lackey to threaten LNM to return Des, and shows he means it by firebombing the jungle. To quote LNM:* “Well, here we go.”* LNM leads a posse to Hydra Island, at which point Sawyer launches his great escape. One small problem: Claire is following them, because she just reconnected with brother Jack and doesn’t want to be left behind again. Now, I’ll admit that one of my wild theories was that Claire and Sayid were also dead, and Smokey was manipulating them too. I’m dropping that theory in favor of Claire and Sayid are both broken, but not beyond repair. Claire’s crazy, confused, and needs a shower, but that might be it. Kate shows she still has a purpose on this show by telling Sawyer to shut up and let Claire on the boat.

Meanwhile, LNM sends Sayid to kill Desmond (who somehow survives a fall to the bottom of a well). Sayid and Des get to talking—Des is quite the charmer—and asks Sayid why he’s doing LNM’s bidding. Sayid’s convinced that LNM brought him back to life, and if he can do that, he can do the same for his soulmate Nadia. See, Sayid’s just a family man. Interestingly enough, in Sideways reality, Sayid has just killed a couple people in order to defend Nadia and her family. In parallel, he’s fighting for love—does that mean his heart is black? Once you go cold-blooded killer, you never go back? Not likely. Even though he tells LNM he killed Desmond, I’m positive he didn’t. And am I making this up, or did someone in this episode say “Everybody deserves a second chance”?

Mystery #3: Is Jack the top candidate? LNM wants Jack on his side as “the last recruit”—probably because he deems him his greatest opponent. Keep your enemies close… Though Sideways Jack still doesn’t believe in fate, Island Jack seems to have completed his transition from man of science to man of faith; he has another lightbulb moment and realizes LNM might be as afraid of them as they are of him. “They island’s not done with us yet. Don’t you feel it?” Oh Jlocke. So he abandons Sawyer’s escape party and swims back to shore. (Note: I actually felt a little weepy when Kate cried after Jack as he swam away. Remember they were in love once, engaged once. And as much as I made fun of the love triangle, we care about this show because we care about its characters. I mean, how great was it when Jin and Sun finally reunited at the very end of the episode? And how Sun miraculously regained her ability to speak English? Okay, maybe that was contrived, but their hug was still up there with Penny and Desmond’s phone call in “The Connect.”)

Final thoughts
If Jack is the top candidate (which I think he is), he’ll likely be the one left behind on the island to keep LNM from escaping. Unless Desmond turns the axis at the bottom of a different well and sends them all to the current Sideways reality. (It’s possible—trust me, we did diagrams on Post-its to figure it out.)

In Sideways land, did Sawyer and Miles call Sayid a gibonni? Um, what? Is that the same thing as a goomba?

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Redux

Spoiler: We take a look what’s new and confusing in Episode 12 of the final season.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on Apr 14, 2010 at 10:45AM 1 Comments

Man of the Year Jorge Garcia plays lovable Hugo “Hurley” Reyes on Lost.

I love Hurley. Everybody loves Hurley. In fact, I’ve been claiming that Jacob loves Hurley too, and made him candidate numero uno after Ben unceremoniously ended Locke’s chances. After all, Hurley has a direct line to dead(?) Jacob, and that kind of helps his chances.

But after last night’s pleasantly surprising “Everybody Loves Hugo” episode, I’m not so sure anymore. I mean, did you see the look the Locke-ness Monster gave Jack at the very end, with that sinister “ Hello , Jack.” (It sounded more sinister than that, I swear.) Does LNM consider Jack his greatest nemesis? His new Jacob? The one who could make or break his entire mission? Will Jack finally understand his role on the island once LNM comes at him with his favorite new weapon, a stick? Wait, wasn’t I talking about Hurley?

Mystery #1: Is Hurley’s “talking to dead people” trick a blessing or a curse? I’m going with curse. Sure, he can commune with Jacob—but what about Libby? Sadly, he’s stuck taking a flower to her grave, mourning the date that never was, and chatting instead with her murderer, Michael. (Michael’s back!) Michael arrives behind that creepy whispering, which he explains to Hurley is the equivalent of a deadman’s doorbell. He claims he’s stuck on the island “because of what he did” (reminder: killed Ana Lucia and Libby), and that whispering precedes him wherever he goes. Mystery solved! Or is it? I don’t buy it. I don’t think that’s actually Michael, just like I don’t think Christian, Claire, or Sayid are quite themselves either. Doesn’t old Smokey make a similar noise when he arrives? Couldn’t this just be Smokey manipulating Hurley through Michael’s body? Plus, why didn’t Hurley hear the whispers when Richard’s wife made an appearance? Or whenever Jacob arrives? Is there such a distinct line between the good dead and the bad on Limbo Island? Don’t the “good dead” stay dead? Cough cough Libby? It’s a theory I’m testing.

Anyway, Michael tells Hurley he has to stop Richard and gang from blowing up the plane, and Hurley actually believes him. Why? “Because dead people are more reliable than live ones.” What a brilliant line that is. Says so much about how twisted things get out here—where the distinction between right and wrong, conman and saint, is so blurred, it’s hard to trust anyone. Even Hurley crosses the line. He uses his ghost whisperer abilities to manipulate his Oceanic 815 buddies…first, to get them to the Black Rock, where he blows the entire thing up before they can get their hands on the dynamite (um, dangerous), then to the Locke-ness Monster himself (suspiciously convenient for old LNM). Hurley’s a leader! He’s taking a stand! Everybody loves Hurley! And he might get everyone killed! Speaking of killed…

Did anyone else screech like a little girl when Ilana blew herself up? Did anyone else think, Serves her right for throwing her bag around? And who just chucks water bottles in with dynamite? What, is there trail mix in there too? Stupid. … And leave it to Michael Emerson to deliver another classic line as Ben: “The island was done with her.” Ho hum. Deadpan: “Makes me wonder what the island will do when it’s done with us.”

You and me both, Bennie boy. Let it be said that a depressed Ben is a hilarious Ben.

Mystery #2: What happened to Desmond after Sayid took him? This episode was great because we have a continuation of last week’s storyline and “Ab Aeterno’s” storyline. Sayid brings “the package” to LNM, who looks mighty perturbed to see Desmond. He can’t get juicy Widmore gossip out of Des (other than mention of Widdy’s electromagnetic test), so he takes him for a walk to the well—the same well with the island’s axis at the bottom? LNM lulls Des into a chat about how old this well is, how people dug it with their bare hands “a very long time ago” to find out why their compass needles spun, or something like that. (Aside: But was it really that long ago? Homesteaders dug their own wells in the late 1800s, around Richard’s time. What am I not getting out of this hint? Someone with a history degree tell me.) Desmond listens and smiles politely, and it drives LNM mad. “Why aren’t you afraid?” he asks. Then he shoves poor Des down the well!! But Desmond gets his revenge in the Sideways world…

Mystery #3: Why is Desmond creeping on Libby and Hurley’s date? I loved this Sideways bit, from Hurley’s dinosaur “Man of the Year” award to his mother scolding him for not having “a woman.” BTW, it’s yet another example of an Oceanic 815er living without love in this reality—that is, until he meets Libby. But Libby seems to know Hurley…she’s had flashes of their alternate island life, and those flashes have her thinking she’s crazy. What I find curious, though, is that only the people who are dead on the island (Charlie, Daniel, Libby) can see flashes in Sideways land on their own. But Desmond can see them now too! And it seems his role—as my colleague Matt has suggested—is to help other people cross between the island reality and Sideways. Which might be why he’s creeping on Libby and Hurley’s all-too-adorable beach date. Then again, it seems love helps people cross over, too. And if there was ever a touching moment on this show, it was the kiss Hurley and Libby shared.

Not touching? When Desmond ran over wheelchair-bound Locke with his car. What did I tell you? Revenge exacted! He thinks the guy who shoved him down a well is Locke…which means he might be having real-time flashes between the two realities. Which is pretty damn cool.

Final thoughts:
What was in the bag that Hurley found on the beach? Will Kate ever matter again on this show? Will Jin and Sun reconnect at the beginning of next week’s episode? And can someone please give a dinosaur award to the guy who picked the Willy Wonka track to accompany next week’s preview? Because it was awesome.

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Tags: Television, Lost

An Interview with Lost’s Creators

Broadcast in theaters, live in HD, just days before the series finale airs!

Posted by: Laura Dannen on Apr 09, 2010 at 04:00PM 1 Comments

You know a TV show is getting big when its creators sit for a chat with The New York Times and they broadcast that interview live in HD for cinemas around the country. I mean, has anyone ever done that before? Has a sitting president ever sold tickets to a one-on-one? That might be a way to boost the economy…just sayin’.

On May 20 at 8pmPT (admittedly, tape delayed by three hours for us West Coasters), Lost executive producer Carlton Cuse and cocreator/executive producer Damon Lindelof will sit for an interview with NYTimes entertainment editor Lorne Manly at The Times Center in New York, where they’re expected to “reveal the challenges of crafting a finale that satisfies themselves as storytellers, and the show’s legion of fans.” Do I think they’ll give quality hints about the series finale, which is set to air on May 23? Not a chance. Do I think it’ll be interesting? Ah-yup. And I think theaters around the country will be packed with people like me, and guys who write 12-page essays dissecting each week’s episode of Lost, and anyone who craves more than an hour’s dose of Lostiness each week.

Get your tickets here.

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Redux

Spoiler: We take a look what’s new and confusing in Episode 11 of the final season.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on Apr 07, 2010 at 10:00AM 0 Comments

Love today, gone tomorrow: Desmond (Henry Ian Cusick) and Penny (Sonya Walger) will have to work hard to be together in the Sideways Reality on Lost.

Oh Sideways Reality, you’re actually starting to matter! Where the Richard episode two weeks ago was a mostly linear flashback, this week’s all-Desmond episode, “Happily Ever After,” is a mostly linear, mostly mind-melting Sideways episode, where the two worlds collide in spectacularly confusing fashion. Let’s break it down…

Mystery #1: Why is Desmond on the island? Start with what we know: Charles Widmore kidnaps Desmond and brings him over on a submarine. Poor Desmond has been kept unconscious for three days; before that, he was in the hospital suffering from a gunshot wound inflicted by Ben. Before that, he was a happy pop sailing around the world with his adorable wife Penny and adorable son Charlie. Basically, things got bad really quickly. So when Desmond wakes up and discovers he’s back on the island, he has a rage attack and clubs old Widmore over the head with an IV stand. To which Widmore calmly replies: “The island’s not done with you yet.” No Widdy, you’re not done with him yet, and I remembered last night why we’re supposed to hate you. You’re evil! You construct a box with giant magnetic conductors—that looks suspiciously like the Velociraptor container from Jurassic Park—and aren’t bothered by the fact that it just fried Worker #1 during a test run. Now you’re sticking Desmond in it to see if he survives. Thankfully, he does, but what are you doing?

“I need you to make a sacrifice,” Widmore tells Desmond. Then as an aside, he adds: “He’s the only one who survived a catastrophic electromagnetic event. I need to know that he can do it again—or we all die.”

So Widmore’s planning for another explosion—perhaps the implosion of the island, or the great escape of the Man in Black/Locke-ness Monster. What does that make Desmond, the messiah?

Or is Widmore planning another explosion? Didn’t his lady friend Eloise send the castaways back to the island to set off the nuclear bomb in the first place? Are they trying to alter reality again, and with what intention?

Mystery #2: Why does this Sideways Reality matter? This is where things get crazy. In this episode, Desmond isn’t married to Penny (just like Sayid isn’t married to Nadia, and Jin isn’t married to Sun, and Jack’s alone, and Kate’s alone, and Claire’s alone, and Sawyer’s alone…see a pattern?). In fact, he’s never met Penny—but he’s Widmore’s right-hand man, his fix-it guy. They hug and share scotch. It’s gross. Desmond flies to LA to meet Widmore face to face for the first time (strange they’ve never met before), and Widdy sends D on an errand: Pick up the heroine junkie who’s supposed to play a concert with my son from jail. Charlie! We missed Charlie. Too bad they gave him such terrible dialogue; he ends up sounding like a drunk poet during a particularly forced exchange with Desmond, when Charlie asks icebreakers like “Are you happy?” and “Have you ever been in love?”

Like the writers got together and said, “Damn, we only have eight episodes left, we need to make out point now.” It sets up an (also) contrived drowning scene, where Desmond has a flash to another reality: He sees Charlie holding up his hand with “Not Penny’s Boat” written on his palm. Desmond has started having flashes again—remember, he has the ability to see the future and the past, but now, he’s seeing sideways. Charlie and Daniel—dead in one reality, alive and well here—can also see sideways; Charlie has flashes of Claire, Daniel of physics and Charlotte—all true loves. Is this starting to sound like Harry Potter to you, or an Eagles song? Love will keep us alive?

Enter Eloise Widmore—yup, she’s married to Charles—who turns very cryptic, and tells Desmond he’s not ready to meet Penny, to find love. Why do she and Charles seem to know so much? Why are they the only couple, other than Locke, to have love in this world? Is this a love-less world, where the Man In Black reigns supreme? Did C & E orchestrate the destruction of the island to reverse their own poor decisions, i.e. to save Daniel and keep Penny close to Charles? If so, what the hell are they doing on the island now?

This is where my head started to hurt.

Final thoughts Are C & E good or evil? Are they trying to save the island, or their own hides? Will Desmond have to turn the dial of the island? Set off an explosion? Battle MIB to the death? He’s not even a candidate! He’s Charles’s candidate, thrown into the ring at the last minute. I feel like I don’t know a damn thing anymore…except that I love not knowing anything. It makes me want more.

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Tags: Television, Lost

Lost Redux

Spoiler: We take a look at what’s new and confusing in Episode 10 of the final season.

Posted by: Laura Dannen on Mar 31, 2010 at 09:00AM 1 Comments

Did Jacob make Sun or Jin a candidate? Does it matter?

Let’s start with my moment of Zen: Sun is not the candidate Kwon!
Or is she?
I keep going back and forth. Consider the facts: In last night’s episode “The Package,” Charles Widmore sends a posse to retrieve Jin, whom they think knows the secrets to the island’s pockets of electromagnetic energy. (Joke’s on them.) Widmore singles out Jin (hint #1!) around the same time the Kwons’ Sideways reality starts, and we discover that in this bittersweet world, Sun still goes by her family name Paik (hint #2!). Yup, Sun and Jin aren’t married here—but they are secret lovers, which might be even better.

So why does that make Jin the chosen Kwon candidate? It doesn’t… and in the end, I don’t think it matters. What matters is that Jin and Sun are both a threat to the Locke-ness Monster, so he’ll continue to try to bring them together so he can get them off the island. And Widmore knows he can use either Kwon—Jin or Sun—as guaranteed bait for LNM. What he didn’t know is that Locke would respond to the bait like a rat jumps on a hot dog. And so, the war begins. Baldie versus baldie. Ultimate showdown. And I fear that Jin and Sun’s marriage will be a casualty of the war.

Mystery #1: What is Widmore really doing here? Widmore has a team of geophysicists on the island with him now—and they somehow know how to construct (or find) those security pylons that make people’s ears bleed. Really, what do those pylons do? And why do they keep both humans and Smokey out? Are they like the bad-o-meter in Dogen’s office in the temple? Do they issue sonic blasts that keep away anyone who’s a sinner? Weird. While we’re at it, let’s review the Rules of Smokey:

1. Smokey can’t cross the pylons.
2. Smokey can’t hurt the candidates physically, but he can try to manipulate them.
3. Smokey couldn’t kill Jacob.
4. Smokey can’t leave the island.
5. Smokey can take the shape of dead people.

What I wonder is if Widmore has metaphysical powers, a supreme role in all this, or if he’s just a power-hungry goon who wants to harness the island’s energy. I’m going with goon, but it’s fun to consider the possibilities.

Mystery #2: What’s wrong with Sayid? Sayid looks depressed. But it’s something worse…

Sayid to LNM: “I don’t feel anything. Anger, happiness, pain.”
LNM: “Maybe that’s for the best. It will help you get through what’s coming.”

So Sayid has become a shell of himself…I think (grandiose guess coming) that means he’s just an LNM puppet. Literally, LNM is possessing both Locke’s dead body and Sayid’s dead body. He can create an army of dead people, which means Christian Shepard might make a reappearance, too. Claire throws a kink in my theory—I’m not convinced she’s a shell. She has a bit too much fire, too much angst directed at Kate to be a true LNM puppet.

Mystery #3: What’s Widmore keeping locked away in the submarine? It’s not a what. It’s a who. And do you know how hard it was to resist writing “What’s the deal with Widmore’s package?” Though I guess I just did…
The big reveal comes at the end of the episode, and our guesses started flying about halfway through: It’s Jin and Sun’s baby! Daniel Faraday! Walt! And in the end, as I had long ago hoped, it’s…Desmond. Excellent. Makes sense, since Widmore has access to Desmond. But what’s he going to do with him? Will Desmond be the one person who keeps everyone from leaving, even as Jack decides it’s his duty to get everyone off the island (again)? Stay tuned.

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Tags: Television, Lost