Doggie Dog World
Dogs ride the bus, go to work, and look really cute in clothes. Sorry, but I’m just not that into them.
I mean, I had a dog growing up. I adored her. She slept in a doghouse without central heating or furniture, and we walked her, if we walked her, without a leash, plastic bag, or doggie raincoat. Those days are history, I gathered, browsing through a dog supply store on my way home from work one day. I didn’t know it was a dog store until I saw a display labeled “Sc-Arfs!” on a table next to a bin of doggie sweats; I was actually lured in by the smell of something baking. I made my way past the “Clear-Runts” table to find that that delectable smell was…dog biscuits.
Now that dogs have souls, they also have bakeries, analysts, and little drop-waist dresses with matching cloche hats. They’re on buses, in shops (the ones with the doggie dishes out front, anyway), in the office lunchroom. And they are amply represented in Seattle.
Once humans had dogs. Now dogs have humans: humans who walk them, take them to camp, and pouf their ’dos.
Once humans had dogs; now dogs have humans: humans to walk them, provide them with camp and day care, pouf their ’dos. Sitting on the bus the other day I eavesdropped as the woman sitting behind me began to talk to the man next to her about her dogs: the pain medication one needs for arthritis, the other’s kidney problem necessitating, in her words, lots of food and lots of elimination. “Would you like to see a picture?” she asked him—_of the elimination?—and she whipped out wallet-sized photos of her dogs. Which her seatmate then matched with wallet shots of _his dogs.
I don’t even have wallet shots of my daughter, and she’s an actual human. And if I don’t think my life includes time to throw a ball for a dog, how on earth would I manage its toilette to today’s specifications? The gruesome plastic bag business isn’t the half of it; I actually saw a guy at the Marymoor dog park wiping his hound’s derriere with toilet paper. Now this makes a certain kind of hugely important sense if the guy lets his dog, say, sleep in his bed, but wouldn’t the bed still collect with the dog’s hair and dander and paw dirt and what-have-you?
The point being: When did dogs start sleeping in our beds in the first place? And how did we come to define this as the norm?
Hand to God, I want to want a dog. I just wish I’d gotten one before dogs became human. I’m betting, however, that Samantha will break us down yet. Every time she sees a hairy little face hanging out of some college girl’s purse, her expression melts. The other night she named the fly she found buzzing around our bathroom. She called it Buzzer.
But if we do break down, you can bet this master will be a little more old-paradigm than her daughter might expect. Soul or no soul, our dog will be a dog. And just so we’re clear, that dog whose master died in the car accident? The one who was supposedly finding its heroic way back home across three states? That poor animal was found wandering aimlessly, nowhere near its home.
I’m just sayin’.
Published: July 2009
Bitter much?
I feel sorry for anybody who has never known the unconditional love of a dog.
KUDOS! I’m shocked Seatteites aren’t sending litters of puppies to you at the office to win you over. I love dogs and I love seeing them all over Seattle. The one thing that truly bothers me is when people think they can bring them into QFC, when there are signs that explicitly say not to. I saw a woman yesterday who seemed to be consulting her Yorkie on which roma tomatoes looked best. She was literally dangling him over the produce…yuck. They may as well skip using hair nets in the bakery dept. or latex gloves at the checkout.
Who is that puggy in the window (previous)? I over the moon for his/her dignity and presence. Sure pugs are cute when they are young, but dang I think they are just as awesome as they enter their dotage, as picured here.
Dogs bring such a joy to the workplace! In an economic environment where everyone is doing more with less, stressed to the max and seeing other office “perks” cut, being able to get a mid day snuggle with your favorite pal makes the day so much better.
They’re hard work but you get back what you put in a million times over. Get the girl a dog, already!
I’d give in and get your girl a dog. Best bet: go to the Seattle Animal Shelter and work with one of the volunteers there to get a dog (not necessarily a pup) who will be a good match for your family’s lifestyle. I resisted getting a dog even though I love animals, thinking I didn’t have the time for one and that it would wreck our home and inconvenience us, but finally caved to my own kid’s wheedling. We took in a shelter dog who’d been dumped, and we’ve never regretted it. And guess what? The dog eats dog chow, sleeps on a dog bed (not ours), never goes into the grocery store (why is it that employees of said stores never say anything to people who bring in their pets?), patiently snoozes at home when I go off on an errand or to a movie, and makes us laugh. And get exercise. Dog walking’s helped to burn off 15 lbs.
Man, I don’t know – there are so many people that take such marginal care of their dogs. If you aren’t completely super gushy gushy over the animal you probably shouldn’t get one. And don’t give me that ‘but they love me unconditionally’ crap even though you lock in a crate all day while you are at work. And certainly don’t assume that everybody loves you animal as much as you. Dogs at work can be pretty gross at best, a huge liability hazard at worst. It is a noble act to take on the responsibility of a pound animal – but you got to want it.