Doggie Dog World
Dogs ride the bus, go to work, and look really cute in clothes. Sorry, but I’m just not that into them.
SO DOGS HAVE SOULS, apparently.
The week I’m writing this a professor at the University of Colorado announced that dogs have nuanced moral systems and can distinguish right from wrong. “It says here that dogs can laugh,” my daughter Samantha sighed, reading from the article. “Mom, don’t you find that delightful?”
My daughter is a red-blooded 11-year-old tomboy who has never uttered the word “delightful” in her life. She is now on about her ninth year of using every wile in her arsenal to get us a pet, and this day she launched into a wistful recap of the month’s animal headlines. The dog that was heroically finding its long way home from the car crash that killed its master! The puppies—_puppies!_—that kept the lost toddler alive overnight in the freezing Virginia wilderness!
A homework assignment in persuasive writing refined her case. “I have wanted a dog since…well, since I found out what a dog is!” it began, unfolding purply over a ranging landscape of arguments impressively honed to our opposition. She earned an A-plus.
It’s not that I dislike animals. I have always enjoyed my friends’ pets. (Shout-outs to Shea and Kona! Theo and Charlie! Shao Mai and Claude and Cow! Love you guys!) They are soft and affable and loyal to my friends, and all of this is good.
I just really don’t want one.
About 12 years ago I progressed overnight from serially killing houseplants to becoming primary life support for a gestating human, who, once born, proceeded to show us what dependence really meant. Now my wonderful mess of a life is no crazier than any other working mother’s, and arguably much easier than that of many. But pity the poor dog who tries to find a lousy ball to fetch in it. “I have far too much respect for dogs to inflict our family upon one,” my husband says.
Okay, so maybe his antidog stance is some perverse manifestation of deep dog love—but who am I kidding. I’m antidog because I don’t want to take care of one. And as much as I tell myself and anyone who will listen that a dog’s water dish is a dangerous, dangerous apparatus, capable of burning down a Bellevue house if left to its own devices in the sun, my hair-trigger unfit-mother nerve reminds me that this is a child we didn’t even give a sibling—and now are denying a pet.
How did I become so out of sync with the zeitgeist, so shockingly un-American? Here I am in a country gone collectively gaga over the adorable First Daughters’ adorable new dog, and I can’t even summon affection for Sam’s favorite movie about the lovably mischievous Labrador Marley. Boisterous dog waking napping baby?_ Craigslist the mutt!_ Dog leaping out of moving vehicle? Drive faster! Somehow I don’t think those were the responses Marley and Me was going for.
What’s the matter with me?
Published: July 2009
Bitter much?
I feel sorry for anybody who has never known the unconditional love of a dog.
KUDOS! I’m shocked Seatteites aren’t sending litters of puppies to you at the office to win you over. I love dogs and I love seeing them all over Seattle. The one thing that truly bothers me is when people think they can bring them into QFC, when there are signs that explicitly say not to. I saw a woman yesterday who seemed to be consulting her Yorkie on which roma tomatoes looked best. She was literally dangling him over the produce…yuck. They may as well skip using hair nets in the bakery dept. or latex gloves at the checkout.
Who is that puggy in the window (previous)? I over the moon for his/her dignity and presence. Sure pugs are cute when they are young, but dang I think they are just as awesome as they enter their dotage, as picured here.
Dogs bring such a joy to the workplace! In an economic environment where everyone is doing more with less, stressed to the max and seeing other office “perks” cut, being able to get a mid day snuggle with your favorite pal makes the day so much better.
They’re hard work but you get back what you put in a million times over. Get the girl a dog, already!
I’d give in and get your girl a dog. Best bet: go to the Seattle Animal Shelter and work with one of the volunteers there to get a dog (not necessarily a pup) who will be a good match for your family’s lifestyle. I resisted getting a dog even though I love animals, thinking I didn’t have the time for one and that it would wreck our home and inconvenience us, but finally caved to my own kid’s wheedling. We took in a shelter dog who’d been dumped, and we’ve never regretted it. And guess what? The dog eats dog chow, sleeps on a dog bed (not ours), never goes into the grocery store (why is it that employees of said stores never say anything to people who bring in their pets?), patiently snoozes at home when I go off on an errand or to a movie, and makes us laugh. And get exercise. Dog walking’s helped to burn off 15 lbs.
Man, I don’t know – there are so many people that take such marginal care of their dogs. If you aren’t completely super gushy gushy over the animal you probably shouldn’t get one. And don’t give me that ‘but they love me unconditionally’ crap even though you lock in a crate all day while you are at work. And certainly don’t assume that everybody loves you animal as much as you. Dogs at work can be pretty gross at best, a huge liability hazard at worst. It is a noble act to take on the responsibility of a pound animal – but you got to want it.