The Carnivore’s Dilemma
My daughter’s vegetarianism must be stopped!
"IF THE GOOD LORD had wanted us to eat only vegetables, He wouldn’ta made cows outta sirloin steak,” bellows the voice in my head.
It’s a big manly Texan voice, and if it weren’t for the dearth of big manly Texan men in my childhood I would swear it was an early memory. Instead I’m forced to conclude that it’s the voice of my subconscious, which would be horrifying if its sentiments weren’t in full accord with my conscious mind, the requirements for my job as a restaurant critic, and my daughter’s appetite. “I LOVE MEAT!” was the first thing she wrote on her Facebook page.
Which is simply to say—I didn’t see this coming.
“Mom, big news!” she crackled through the cellphone from music camp in California last summer. “I’ve decided to become a vegetarian!” Do not react strongly, I told myself. Do not sign her up again for anything in the Santa Cruz Mountains.
Turns out she’d been consorting with vegans all week, supercool teenage vegans, whose healthful propaganda turned her carnivorous little head. Here I must point out that I have nothing against herbivores; I am live-and-let-live about people’s dining choices (even if I’m not, apparently, about the destinies of cows and sheep.) Vegetarians are fine; I just don’t want to feed one. I didn’t want to prepare her separate meals any more than I wanted to graze at her feedbag. It was hard enough making sure she got enough nutrients within her picky 12-year-old’s repertoire; even if she wasn’t going all-out vegan, taking away the obvious protein anchor of every meal seemed nuts. Literally. She’d have to eat so many nuts.
But I also knew that a power struggle would not go well for Mom. No, this would require stealth. By the time she returned from camp, I had devised a four-step plan to lure her back to the slaughterhouse—of her own volition.
And so Step One: The most objectionably vegetal welcome-home meal I could stand to prepare. The strongest brassicas, the stinkiest cheeses, a big, nasty mushroom-tofu fry-up. All cleverly designed to simultaneously convey my loving support of her new food lifestyle and gross her the hell out.
Fail. “You know, tofu’s impossible to hate because it doesn’t taste like anything!” she warbled, helping herself to seconds. Yes, she left the mushrooms in a little black heap on her plate, but when she gamely took a second bite of her first-ever Brussels sprout, I knew I had a dangerously backfiring strategy on my hands. Time for Step Two.
“I made an appointment with your doctor so we can make sure you stay healthy,” I told her lightly, envisioning the bottles of supplements, the disapproving nutrition lecture.
Instead her doctor clapped her hands in the air and beamed. “I love it when kids take charge of their own nutrition!” she said. “Vegetarianism can be perfectly healthy when done responsibly. My daughter’s been a vegetarian since she was about your age.” Her daughter, I learned, was 22. “A prenatal vitamin will supplement your iron just fine,” she said, and with a few further directives sent us on our way.
“Wow, so the same vitamin pregnant women take,” I remarked on the way to the car, certain that would send her tweener self-consciousness into a spiral of mortification. “I know,” she sighed happily. “I’ll be healthy as a newborn!”
I wanted to scream. Where was Little Miss Medium Rare? Had all those stupid vampire books taught her nothing?
I didn’t even wait to get home before launching Step Three. “Vegetarian enchiladas tonight—but only if you help me make them,” I declared. Mandating help with the increased prep requirements of vegetarian cooking, a kindred mom had clued me, would wrap this up handily. “Sure, Mom!” she chirped. “Beats algebra!”
Published: March 2011
Hmmm…I’m suspicious of parents/people so ready to cast stones. Until we can all swear we never demand our children eat particular foods (including vegetables), we never correct their speech (no matter how grammatically incorrect or "offensive") and we never insist they accompany us (or not) to religious services, perhaps we ought to lay off the heavy rhetoric and see this article for what it is. A mom tried to influence her daughter’s identity (as all moms do), and the daughter learned about her own choices and ideas about the world (as all children do). No moral dilemma here….just the realities of rearing little people.
Is this Seattle Met? Why would write such a stupid article for a magazine in Seattle?
Sure you are a meat eater and your daughter wants to stop eating eating meat, but if you have any sense you know that meat is not going to keep you healthy. It’s vegetables, legumes, fruit, grains, nuts etc.
You should be providing those things to your family whether or not they eat meat.
Separate Meals? Totally unnecessary, unless all your meals are stews, or casseroles.
As a mother and a vegetarian I am completely appalled by this article. My children do not choose to be vegetarian, so I will make meals that we can all enjoy and appreciate my children (14 and 18) ability to make their own food choices. Do I wish they would choose to live life meatlessly? Of course I do. But they like cheeseburgers and chicken and fish too much. Sometimes I have to cook separate meals for them, but I do that because I love them and I believe it is my job.
I am a single working parent and would never “lure” my kids away from something that they felt so passionately about, even if it meant extra work or issues for me. It is selfish parenting. It reminds me of how my parents would try to “lure” me to go back to church at age 16 with the promise of donuts.
My parents did the exact same thing to me when I was kid. Not because they are horrible people, but because they worried about me. (It was also a storyline on the show Parenthood recently, where it was handled very well.)
Were they right? Not necessarily. But they weren’t bad people.
It’d be nice to see some comments detailing other perspectives. Personal attacks on the writer and threats to cancel subscriptions don’t further the conversation.
This article make me want to cancel my subscription to Seattle Met, and has certainly dimmed my view of the food / restaurant articles and this critic… What sort of person would encourage their children to eat greasy fried chicken over a healthy diet? A terrible sort of person, that’s who.
I agree with the previous reviewer. This article is disturbing and makes me want to cancel my subscription to Seattle Met. “Luring” someone to eat meat when they are clearly struggling with their food choices is not a kind thing to do. The author should respect her daughter’s wishes and let her make her own choices and come to her own conclusions.
This article is exceptionally closed-minded, and not for the meat-is-murder reasons you may be thinking.
The previous commenters is spot-on – not supporting your daughter and instead immediately jumping to how “preparing separate meals” would impact your life is extremely disrespectful. Your daughter didn’t win – she’ll have to deal with your shallowness and inability to process minor differences for the rest of her life.
I feel like this article was written to purposefully piss people off and pull in some sort of interest to this kind-of-crappy magazine. The author never gives a strong reason for not wanting her daughter to be a vegetarian, the doctor says it’s fine and then she makes the poor girl break by offering her something hard to resist. Bravo mom. Due to your selfishness your daughter has now given up on a lifestyle that’s both good for the earth and good for her health.
Mrs. Robinson, fear and ignorance of vegetarianism seems a bit off for a forward thinking city such as Seattle. Whats up with your emotional attachment to meat-eating?
Consider the impact over consumption of meat has on one’s health. Research the environmental impact meat production has on the planet, it’s beyond disheartening.
Please step back and allow your daughter to define her own path and make her own choices. Encourage her school herself in her dietary choices and allow her to cultivate an awareness towards conscious eating habits, an awareness we would all be better for.
I am really appalled by this article. While I respect a desire to make sure your daughter remains healthy, I think that your tactics go far beyond that goal – and into a manipulative attempt to force your daughter into changing her mind. But for what purpose? To avoid cooking separate meals? To show her that you are always right in your infinite parental wisdom? This article reeks of smugness.
Perhaps your daughter chose to be a vegetarian to exert some control over her own life – or perhaps she just needed to make a choice. It seems as though she’s probably not permitted to make many such decisions in your household.
I stopped reading Seattle Met awhile ago (too many advertisements) but still get the emails and saw this article. I believe it’s time to mark those as spam. If someone paid you to write this, I would give back the money.
Spot on, Lori. What a great piece that, of course, attracts the mass whiners. Get over it. It’s a nice piece where the author questions herself throughout and even admits that it was a win for her daughter, not herself or vegetarianism. Geez, lighten up a little.