Civil Disobedience
Will you please be quiet, please?
And public displays of self-righteousness—no matter how right —rank as the most offensive behavior of all. It’s why my biologist friend who confronts off-road cyclists in Seward Park with gentle dissertations on the fragility of the forest floor is regularly met with hoots of disdain. It’s why I took my little green daughter aside one day and carefully explained that her helpful exhortations to people she saw tossing soda cans into garbage bins—“Did you know you can recycle that?”—were best reserved for people she knew really loved her.
Perhaps in a big messy urban area like Seattle, improving our neighbors’ public consciousness is not best done mano a mano. That’s what letters to the editor or tip-offs to enforcement authorities are for. I’ve settled on a general “all defense, no offense,” rule: I speak up if behavior’s harming someone, like me; say nothing if it’s not. And I remember that the instant someone acts offensively, their moral superiority evaporates.
Coming home from Bainbridge the other night, my husband chose what he thought was a lonely spot on the ferry to practice his violin. After awhile a guy approached to complain viciously and at length about his playing, employing all manner of invective and profanity and at least one comparatively rosy assessment of the screams of a dying cat. After I talked my husband down from pushing the jerk overboard he reluctantly admitted that the guy was right: No one should be forced to endure music unwillingly thrust upon them. (I’m talking to you, Mr. Eminem-Leaking-from-iPod-on-Bus-Guy.) Wouldn’t matter if my husband were Joshua Bell. He was wrong.
But, for his rudeness, the jerk was more wrong. Especially since he could have complained to a ferry worker. He could have approached my husband and politely said, “Excuse me, but I’ve had a terribly long day and wonder if you could hold off so I might sleep?” He could have glared, which is effective with movie-theater-gabbers and loud-cellphone-talkers. (Particularly in Seattle, where passive-aggression is practically a dialect.)
Or he could have taken a more novel approach, my new favorite fix for urban incivility. He could have sidled up to my husband and whispered, “Hey, I just overheard some ferry officials and I’m pretty sure I heard them say that they’re going to come over and issue you a ticket! Just warning you, man!”
Sure it’s a flagrant, tawdry lie. But its vagueness renders it pure unverifiable gold. And the conspiratorial tenor is cooperative instead of antagonistic, thereby preserving—dare I say strengthening?—the fragile filaments of decency that bind a city’s disparate tribes of motley individuals into that ungainly, essential body called community.
Strengthen public decency and shut up the dying cat? There’s a twofer. If it could tame a snarling dog, I wouldn’t even care that it was a lie.
Published: February 2010
The real danger in Interlaken Park lurks not with the dogs but with the aggressive bike riders. The vast majority of dog owners and their dogs (on and off-leash) as well as bike riders are respectful and friendly to each other. Most share this beautiful park without incident. On occassion a bikerider will come up from behind without a sound while riding far too fast (for the people, children and animals who share their path) and they will almost run you over. When that happens it is always the innocent walker who gets berated by the biker.
I go through that park at least twice a day. Believe me…its not the very rare rude dogowner that poses the greatest risk. Its the aggressive bikers!
First of all, I must say that you’re a great writer. The drama laced throughout your piece is admirable. I was right there on the bus with you just a few seats over plugging my ears from the assalt of foul f-bombs. I was the one enjoying your husband’s evening ferry concerto… that’s all great, but I am not on your side of the street in regard to Interlaken Park. While I understand that your piece is not specifically about Interlaken Park, as it is about the worth of speaking up, your attack on the laissez-faire attitude of Interlaken dog walkers is pretty offensive.
I have walked through Interlaken Park at least twice a day for many years. I have done this with a dog, alone or with a child in tow. Sure, I’ve encountered the occasional rogue dog (or owner), but in all my years of walking the park, I have been able to see that these are mostly thoughful neighbors and responsible dog owners. There are no more dogs off leash here than can be easily observed in any other park in Seattle. Maybe it’s the fact that you were “a newbie” to the park, that you weren’t aware that Interlaken is often monitored and tickets are given to off leash offenders. Ask any of the dog owners walking through the park, they are all keenly aware of this.Your incident could have happened anywhere, in Seattle. That said, I certainly don’t approve of the dog owners reaction or misconduct. I promise, if you were to become an Interlaken regular, you would soon see that the park is a lovely addition to the community and is filled with mostly pleasant, law abiding citizens.