The Perfect Party

Here’s who we’d invite if we could entertain this month’s most interesting visitors, locals, and newsmakers.

GUILLERMO DEL TORO


The Pan’s Labyrinth director promotes his new trilogy of vampire novels. Finally! Someone is writing about vampires. (Kim Ricketts Book Events, Sept 30)

WALTER TAMOSAITIS


The Hanford nuclear reservation site whistleblower says he was fired for raising safety concerns. We’d ask him to please pass the Geiger counter.

MARIA HINES


The Tilth chef competed on the Food Network’s Iron Chef America. And, by cod (the secret ingredient), she won.

JANE GOODALL


The primatologist’s face will grace the label of Seattle’s Choice Organic Teas, which is no monkey business.

MALCOLM DUTHIE


The immunologist is working on a leprosy vaccine in a lab on Capitol Hill, which, despite a preponderance of sun-shy people in hoodies, is not a leper colony.

JASKARAN SINGH


The taxi driver returned $1,000 to a vacationing New York family who accidentally left the cash in his cab. A big tip seems more than fare.

DREW CAREY


The Sounders FC co-owner lost 80 pounds. In unrelated news, Top Pot Doughnuts announced a three-year contract to sell its crullers at Sounders games. Don’t tell Drew.

ESTELLA LEOPOLD


The botanist and UW professor emeritus won a $460,000 award for her work with fossilized pollen. At age 83, she should probably just spend it all in one place.