Gulp Fiction

Seattleite Molly Ringle's winning entry in the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest to write the worst first line of a novel.

Photo: istockphoto

"FOR THE FIRST MONTH of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss—a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.”